The Princess and the Pea

Illustrated and Copyright © 9/11/10, 2018

by Lily Pulier and Papa Myron

Once upon a time there was a king and a queen.

A picture of two palaces
and a big front door (portal)
in the middle of it
with a star in the sky for wishes

They lived in a nice big palace with a big front door in the middle of it.

Their son was a real prince.

The queen and king loved their prince so much that they always gave him whatever he wanted and let him do whatever he wanted to do.

As a result, there came a time when the king and queen wanted to get their prince married-off, so they let it be known that they needed a princess for the prince to marry.

Far from the palace lived a family that heard that the prince was ready to get married. The mother and father said to each other, "If our daughter marries the prince we will all be rich because when she becomes a princess she can send us lots of presents. She's not a princess now, but she can learn to be one."

So the family taught their daughter how to be very polite: how to have good table manners and how to speak properly to the king and queen. They looked through all the girl's clothing and decided that her most beautiful dress was the blue one.

The girl with pink hair
and a blue dress

They made the girl take a bath and wash her pink hair, then they had her put on the blue dress and tied blue and red ribbons in her pink hair. She looked very nice and neat.

They hired a coachman who owned a handsome blue hansom and two white horses, put their daughter in the coach, gave her a mirror and a brush and told the coachman to drive her to the palace of the queen, the king and the prince.

The white horses pulled the blue coach all through the day. The sun was just setting when they came near to the palace. The girl looked in her mirror and brushed her pink hair until it was nice and neat.

When the people in the street saw the handsome blue hansom coming they started running after it, and by the time the coach stopped there was a big crowd of people all around watching to see who was inside. The coachman jumped down from his seat, opened the door to the coach and held the girl's hand to help the girl in the blue dress to hop out without falling into the mud on the ground.

The King and Queen

The king and queen were standing outside at the top of the stairs to the big front portal of their palace. A portal is like a door, only bigger. The girl said, "Good evening, your Majesties." This was the polite thing to say, especially because it was, indeed, evening.

"Good evening to you," said the queen, "and welcome to our palace. We are so glad to meet you and we would love for you meet our son the prince tomorrow. For now, however, come join us at dinner. You must be hungry after your long ride."

"Thank you," said the girl in the blue dress. She followed the queen and king through the big palace portal, through the great entrance foyer and into the grand dining hall. She sat down on the chair at the side of the long table, unfolded her napkin and put it on her lap. The king sat at the head of the long table and the queen sat at the foot. Each person had their own server, who placed an appetizer of Escargot Bourguignon in front of them. The girl with the pink hair picked up each of the cooked snails in front of her (that's what escargot bourguignon is... cooked snails) with a silver escargot holder, and, using a tiny fork in her other hand, twisted the meat out of the shell and ate each one. "That was delicious," she said.

After the first course of food (the escargot) the servers set bowls of turtle soup in front of the people at the table. The girl with pink hair in the blue dress took her soup with the soup spoon, being careful not to splash, slurp or dribble.

For the rest of the meal she was very polite and showed the excellent table manners her parents had taught her at home. When dinner was over, the queen said, "You must be tired from your long ride. Follow me to our best guest bedchamber." A bedchamber is like a bedroom, only bigger.

In the best guest bedchamber the queen had ordered the steward to order a chambermaid to prepare a bed with seven featherbeds on it. (A featherbed is like a big flat bag with soft feathers in it.) But under all the featherbeds, right in the middle of the bed, without telling anyone, the queen had put a small dried pea. "Sleep well," said the queen as she left the girl in the room.

"Oh, I'm sure I shall. Good night and thank you very much," said the girl.

Next morning, the queen came to the best guest bedchamber. "Did you have a good sleep? Was the bed comfortable?" she asked.

"Oh yes, indeed, thank you," said the girl.

The queen went to the king and said, "That girl is not a princess. She is not to marry our son the prince."

The queen and king sent the girl in the blue dress back to her house.

The girl with red hair
and a pink dress

Now there was another family that thought they would get rich if their daughter married the prince, so they had a dressmaker sew a splendid pink dress for the girl. They thought that pink would look best against the girl's red hair.

Then they bought four pink horses and a big pink coach. They had the dressmaker sew pink decorations for the horses and also make pink livery for a coachman and a footman whom they hired.

They retained a tutor to teach their daughter how to be very polite and to have good table manners and to know exactly how a person is supposed to speak to a king and queen.

Then they sent her off to the palace.

The King and Queen

Again a crowd gathered to watch as the coach stopped in front of the palace. The coachman held the reins of the horses as the footman jumped down from the back of the coach where he had been riding. The footman opened the door of the coach and knelt down on the ground so that the girl with red hair could step on his back to get out gracefully and, without setting foot in the mud, step right up onto the stairs where the king and queen were standing just outside the big front portal of the palace. The girl curtsied to the king and said, "Your Majesty." Then she curtsied to the queen and said, "Your Majesty."

The queen said to the king, "What a lovely girl. So polite!" Then she said to the girl, "Welcome to our palace. You must be tired and hungry from your ride. Follow me and dine with us, do."

"That is most thoughtful of your Majesty. I will be most happy to join you for dinner. You have a most beautiful palace. I am most grateful for your kindness." The girl with the red hair and pink dress said all of that as she was following the king and queen into the palace, into the great entry foyer and into the grand dining hall, where she waited until the queen pointed to where she should sit, at the side of the long table. Her server pulled the chair out for her, but she stood there until the king and the queen had sat down. Then she sat and said, "This is a most lovely room and a most attractively set table." She unfolded her napkin, put it on her lap and sat with her hands on her knees while her server put the first course on her serving plate: Pâté de Foie Gras Trouffé. She waited until the king and queen had started to eat their own pâté de foie gras trouffé and then took a small piece of hers and ate it. "This is most delicious," she exclaimed, but she did not eat any more.

When the soup came she had just half a spoonful, then set her spoon down by the side of her plate. She said she could not possibly eat more, but when her server set dessert before her (la Neige Flottant sur de la Crème Anglaise), she took the little dessert spoon on the far side of her place setting, dipped it into the neige, tasted just a little bit and said, "This is most heavenly."

The queen said to the king, "What a nice girl. So polite and dainty." Then the queen said to the girl, "Follow me to our best guest bedchamber where you shall spend the night. I have had the bed made specially for you."

Indeed the queen had had the bed made specially for the girl with red hair who was wearing the pink dress. What was special was that the queen had put one dried pea under the seven featherbeds.

The next morning the queen came to the best guest bedchamber to ask how the girl had slept. "Most soundly, your majesty," said the girl. "Thank you so much."

The queen went to the king and said, "That girl is not a princess. She is not to marry our son the prince."

The queen and king sent the girl in the pink dress back home.

The real princess

Now, a different king and queen of another kingdom heard that there was a prince who was supposed to get married. "We will send our daughter the princess there at once," said that king. "We shall send her quickly before anyone else gets there and marries him."

"That's fine," said that queen, "but she can't have our coach because I am using it today for my parade."

The king made their princess get onto her riding horse and sent her off, telling her she must ride fast or she will arrive too late for dinner. She rode all day and finally came to the palace of the first king and queen in the story (and the prince, of course).

She rode her horse up the steps to the big palace portal, got off the horse and knocked on the door. When the doorman opened the door she said, "Get someone to take care of my horse and tell the queen and king I'm here."

"Who shall I say has come to visit?" asked the doorman.

"Me," said the princess.

"May I give Their Majesties your name?" asked the doorman.

"Sure, why not," said the princess. "Whatever."

"What is your name?" asked the doorman.

"Tsainya," said the princess, "with a capital 'T'. Got it? Tsainya. Now take care of my horse and go get the king."

"I'm afraid that the king is dining and is not to be disturbed," said the doorman. "Please take a seat here in the great entry foyer and wait until His Majesty the King and Her Majesty the Queen have finished their repast." The doorman tied the horse to the handle of the door of the big portal and went to find the steward to tell him to send a messenger to tell a groom to come take care of the horse.

Meanwhile, the princess did not wait, but walked through the great entry foyer and right into the grand dining hall. There was the king sitting at the head of the long table and the queen at the foot, just finishing their appetizer of Oysters Rockefeller. "Set up a place for me," the princess told the king's server, "and get me my own server." She sat down in the chair at the side of the table and said, "Hi, King, hi, Queen. I've been riding all day and I almost missed dinner. Boy am I hungry! I could eat a horse. But forget about oysters. I hate oysters. I'll just start with soup."

"And just who," said the king, "are you?"

"My name is Tsainya, but you can just call me 'Princess Tsainya,'" she said. "I want croutons for my soup. And where's the prince?"

"Is that really a princess?" whispered the queen to the king. Remember that the queen was sitting way down at the foot of the long table, far from the king, so she had to whisper very loud.

"Duh, yes I really am a princess," said the princess, slurping her soup, "and, hello, it's not polite to tell secrets in front of other people."

When the next courses were brought to the table the princess ate some Beef Wellington, some Schnitzel ala Holstein, some Dover Sole Meunière, Lobster Thermidore, Raie au Beurre Noir and Tournedos Rossini, after which she said, "Boy, I'm stuffed. But there's always room for dessert. I'll have Cherries Jubilee, Bananas Foster, Crêpes Suzette, Pêche Melba, Poire Belle Hélène and Chocolate Soufflé."

The prince

"Ah, there's the prince. About time! Hey, dude."

The prince usually stayed in his own bedroom to eat, but when he heard the princess ordering the desserts he decided to come out and have a look, after which he helped the princess finish all the desserts.

The queen and king had long since left the table, the queen retiring into her parlor for some bread and honey and the king going to his counting house; but soon the queen returned and said to the princess, "It's late. Follow me to our best guest bedchamber and I will show you where you are to sleep."

"In a minute, Queen," said the princess, who was arm wrestling with the prince at the edge of the table. After she had won, the princess walked with the queen to the bedchamber, where the queen had secretly placed a small dried pea under the seven featherbeds.

"Good night," said the queen.

"Don't wake me up before noon," said the princess.

The next morning the queen put her ear against the door to the best guest bedchamber, but all was quiet inside. She was very disappointed and said to herself, "She is not a real princess if she is still sleeping in that bed with the pea under it." She came back again to listen, but there was no noise inside. Finally, when the sun was high in the sky, at noon, the queen went into the room to awaken the princess. There was nobody there.

The King and Queen

The queen brought the king over to look and he also could find nobody in the best guest bedchamber. They saw that the featherbeds were scattered all over the floor.

As the king and queen were coming out of the best guest bedchamber, they saw the princess and the prince coming out of the prince's bedchamber. The princess said, "What kind of place is this anyway? My bed was horrible. I couldn't sleep in it for a minute. It was so-o-o lumpy, you wouldn't believe. Then I found a pea under the featherbeds. Can you imagine that? A pea! Under my bed. How is anyone supposed to sleep with a pea under their bed?"

The prince said, "I had to let her sleep in my bed. What else could I do?" He had a king-size bed even though he was just a prince.

The king and queen were very happy. "She is a real princess," they told each other.

The princess in her wedding dress
with her friend, a bee

And so the princess and the prince got married that very day. The king and queen retired and moved to Florida. The prince became king. The princess became queen. And they all lived happily ever after.

And that's the story of the princess and the pea.

The end.